Être The Girls

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and..."

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:36:37 -0400

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”

- C.S. Lewis, Four Loves

Happy Mother's Day! xo, from all of us

Sun, 12 May 2013 10:39:58 -0400

This Mother’s Day, we asked friends and bloggers to tell us what they love about their moms. This is our tribute to the superwomen in our lives. Thanks, Mom. ❤

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong

“My mom stands behind me on my good days and in front of me on my bad days, and she always will. What else could I ask for?”
— Hillary Quinn Epperson, woolenspoon.tumblr.com; pinterest.com/HQEpps/

“I love my Mom because she’s the most interesting woman I’ve ever known. She embodies everything I want to be and hope to be. She is brave, a fighter, a gentle soul, a wonderful friend and leader. She is an incredible human being and I’m so proud to be her daughter!”
— Beverly Lwenya, http://www.theafropolitanshop.com/

“What do I love about my mom: Everything! I do, but I guess I should answer seriously. I love how she tells me like it is. She doesn’t shy away from telling me what I need to hear, no matter how much i try to deny it. I love how she knows me better than I know myself. I love that she is comfortable in her own skin. I love how she doesn’t apologize for the past and manages to keep everything in perspective and still stay positive. I love the fact that she looks 35. But most of all I love that she is my rock. She is the glue that holds me together when I want to break apart. And as I try to navigate this post-collegiate world, I know she is only a phone call away. I am blessed to be her child and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
— Paris W., http://backspacepen.wordpress.com/

“What I love about my mom is that she teeters between a tough love ‘tiger mom’ approach, and a ‘I am going to spoil you,’ approach. She expects a lot from me, but she also loves me fiercely. She tells me to push myself, but she also tells me how proud of me she is. She also always tells me to be a lady, because she is a lady, and that being classy will get you far in life.”
— Tiffany T.

“I love the fact that she has supported me in everything I’ve done. Whether performing or running a show, she always makes a point to come out and watch. She is my number one fan and couldn’t ask for a better mom.”
— Andrea P., http://atimeforeverythinginlife.tumblr.com/

“I love that my mom for her conviction that she can accomplish anything she sets her sights on, from redoing the basement to fostering great danes to designing her own crocheted stuffed animals. I love you for all that and more, Mama!”
— emma sullivan

“I love that my mom is the most selfless person I know. She gives so much of her time and resources to care for others without complaint. Also, she’s an amazing cook.”
— Jessie H.

“I love my mom’s strength, courage, and the ability to love selflessly. Also, she starts laughing before she finishes telling a joke. It’s quite adorable.”
— Karen H.

“To the woman who gave all that she has to her children. She is my superwoman.”
— Caroline S., Instagram: so_caroline

“I love her devotion to our family and the remarkable sacrifices she has made to grow us into who we are today. She is a strong and beautiful woman who has overcome so much and continues to strive for her best so that we are able to be our best, and I cannot thank her enough for it. Love you, 媽媽.”
— Dorothea

“I know that my mom will always love me, and even though we go through tough times in our relationship I am assured that she will always listen, be there and help in whatever way she can. That undeniable motherly love is what makes my mom so great.”
— Susan F.

“Mama is the testament to human resilience and the living testimony of faith. She loves as fiercely as she rebukes. Her gaunt shoulders have bore much tribulation but in spite of it all, she is the epitome of strength to me. And I love her for that and so much more.”
— Cherrie C., about.me/cherrie_chen

Thank you all for your submissions! Have a wonderful Mother’s Day. Check back soon for updates to the new Mama Said series.

We Love: NPR's She Works Note To Self

Wed, 08 May 2013 00:16:00 -0400

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong

This week, we love the Tumblr NPR: She Works Note To Self. As part of a series called The Changing Lives of Women, NPR asks women this question: What’s your note to self — a piece of advice that’s helped you at work?

Learn from the best, ladies; we are each other’s best.

We Love is a series featuring our favorites of the week. Want to share something you think we’ll love? Tweet @etrethegirls with hashtag #welove.

"People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you..."

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:56:00 -0400

“People, I have discovered, are layers and layers of secrets. You believe you know them, that you understand them, but their motives are always hidden from you, buried in their own hearts. You will never know them, but sometimes you decide to trust them.”

- V. Roth, Insurgent

Makeup Remover for Sensitive Eyes

Sun, 05 May 2013 20:58:00 -0400

BEAUTY | THE PRODUCT » By Jennie Wong » ★★★★☆ I’m a fan!

Perks of having roommates like mine are that you get to share beauty finds (and cupcakes!). My friend and roommate Dorothea taught me a thing or two about gentle makeup removers that wash away makeup in a snap.

For a long time I’d been using a blue, oil-based makeup remover from Sephora (read the review here). However, I noticed that as I started to use more eyeliner and water-resistant mascara, I had to really scrub to wash it all off at the end of the day. I knew this couldn’t be good for my eyes or the eye area.

Dorothea introduced me to Biotherm Clarifying Cleansing Milk ($27, 13.5 oz.), a double-duty cleanser and eye/face makeup remover. Cleansing milks are silky, oil-in-water emulsions that leave the skin moisturized and refreshed. They are non-irritating and safe for the eye area. Apply with a cotton pad around the eyes or use as a normal cleanser for the whole face. Unlike my old eye makeup remover, this product doesn’t leave behind a film or residue.

If you are looking for solely an eye makeup remover because you already have a facial cleanser, I recommend the Sephora Sens’ Eyes Waterproof Sensitive Eye Cleanser ($24, 3.38 oz.). This makeup remover has a similar texture and consistency. ✧

Want more product recs? Read the posts here and follow us on Twitter @etrethegirls.

Spring Cleaning: Makeup Drawer Edition

Sun, 05 May 2013 18:48:00 -0400

BEAUTY | THE SETUP » By Jennie Wong

Did you know your makeup has a shelf life? Take a minute this spring to go through your makeup drawer and clear out the old to make room for the new.

I learned at work that mascara should probably be thrown out every 4 months — and I realized with some disgust that my tube was past due date. I took this as an opportunity to sort through my entire makeup drawer. My criteria for stash-or-trash was:

- Do I use this product regularly?
- Is there an expiration date?
- Have I used this product for more than 4 months?
- Is this just taking up space?

Through this process, I was able to clear out everything you see in that box pictured. You should pay special attention to products near the eye area like mascara because you don’t want dried out mascara or bacteria to get in your eyes. I also make a habit of cleaning my brushes every day (Daily Brush Cleaner), deep cleaning them once a month (Purifying Brush Shampoo), and replacing them completely every quarter.

What products can you get rid of? Remember, the key to a minimalism is getting rid of the excess. It starts with the little things. ✳

LIFESTYLE | QUOTABLE » By Jennie Wong From The Ravenous Muse, a collection of writings by...

Sun, 05 May 2013 18:13:00 -0400

LIFESTYLE | QUOTABLE » By Jennie Wong

From The Ravenous Muse, a collection of writings by Karen Elizabeth Gordon

We Love: These Men's Fragrances

Sun, 05 May 2013 17:52:00 -0400

FASHION | THE STANDARD » By Jennie Wong

Men’s fragrances can be tricky: too musky and you smell old, too sweet and you smell On The Prowl, too spicy and you smell like Axe. My favorites have wood bases balanced by fresh, sparkling notes.

L’Homme Saint Laurent: amber woodsy with notes of bergamot, ginger and vetiver

Dolce & Gabbana The One For Men: cedarwood with notes of cardamom and orange blossom

Don’t know where to start? Grab one, identify the base notes, and decide yes/no. Cologne is very personal, and remember that fragrances can change in intensity and note throughout the day. You can request a sample, try it for a day, and see if you like it. If all else fails, SOS text me or ask the girl behind the counter. We’re here to help. ✯

We Love is a series featuring our favorites of the week. Want to share something you think we’ll love? Tweet @etrethegirls with hashtag #welove.

Cover photo courtesy of Details.com

"Gracious, soft-voiced girls, who were brought up on memories instead of money."

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:29:00 -0400

“Gracious, soft-voiced girls, who were brought up on memories instead of money.”

- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Ice Palace

Mama Said: Skincare

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 02:23:00 -0400

BEAUTY | THE SETUP » By Jennie Wong

This weekend I was fortunate enough to return home to California for a few days. I visited family and spent time in the sun reading, reading, reading and washing off the rust and grime of the city.

I also had the privilege of sitting down with my mama for dim sum and real talk about skincare. Here is what I learned.

My mama has beautiful skin, but she didn’t have the luxury (yes, it’s a luxury!) of cosmetics or skin products growing up. I look at her and I see healthy, glowing, soft skin. She is aging gracefully, with integrity. She does not wear any makeup.

I asked her, of course, what her skincare routine was. What should I do? Did I need to wear more sunscreen?? What products does she use?!

And my mama replied: Nothing. She washes her face with soap in the shower, and she uses an Olay facial cream day and night. That’s it.

“DO YOU WEAR SUNSCREEN?” I asked, incredulous.

“No,” said my mama, without any defensiveness.

And in that moment I realized that I, a blog-reading, American-born, beauty industry femmebot, may be a little too obsessed and overread with beauty products and prevention and treatment and spf and how many products can I crowd my bathroom counter with? How much of what I have is from Stuffmart — just noise to true health and skincare, “organic” in the original sense of the word? Sometimes, less is more. Sometimes, “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication” (Leonardo da Vinci).

My mama is living proof that the body takes care of itself, if you let it. That doesn’t mean her routine works for everybody. But I think it’s good to think about.

The next morning, I woke up to a jar of Olay cream on my desk.

Later, she texted me, “If you have skin like mine and grandma’s, you will be pretty :).”

Mama Said is a series of topical advice mama gives us that we can’t forget and need to share. Want to contribute your own story? Email us at etrethegirls@gmail.com for more information.

LIFESTYLE | MUSIC » By Jennie Wong Lana Del Rey - Young...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:54:08 -0400

LIFESTYLE | MUSIC » By Jennie Wong

Lana Del Rey - Young & Beautiful from Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby soundtrack (in theatres May 10)

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong Dove Real Beauty...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 11:14:00 -0400

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong

Dove Real Beauty Sketches - Men. New Feelings Time reminds men that they are not as beautiful as they think. ☺

"‘One of my girlfriends gave me a beautiful button-down shirt with strict instructions—she said..."

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 21:12:00 -0400

“‘One of my girlfriends gave me a beautiful button-down shirt with strict instructions—she said don’t you dare button it up to the top! Just buy a beautiful bra.’”

- Trading Places: How to Dress Like a Man and Feel Like a Woman, Vogue Daily

I ❤ Spring Tag!

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 04:11:00 -0400

FASHION | THE STANDARD » By Jennie Wong

I’m trying out a Spring tag from Christine of YT makeup tutorial channel xteeener. Here are the things I’m looking forward to this Spring!

1. Favorite Spring nail polish?

Essie’s She’s Picture Perfect - a shimmery lilac.

 2. What is your must-have lip color this Spring?

Let the colors in your Spring palette shine with this Too Faced La Creme Lipstick in Nude Beach, recommended by frmheadtotoe.

 3. What is your favorite Spring dress?

A black maxi dress.

4. What’s your favorite flower?

Sunflowers.

 5. Favorite Spring scarf/accessory? 

Dream: A white/beige or rope/ivory Alexander McQueen skull scarf.

Reality: It’s got a pom pom trim or something else really obnoxious and man repeller-esque.

6. What Spring trend(s) are you most excited about this year? (Makeup, fashion or both!) 

Fashion: High-low skirts and dresses with casual footwear.

Makeup: Light, bare-faced makeup. I’m done with heavy makeup!

7. Favorite spring candle? 

I used to have a fragrance diffuser and I swear by The Body Shop’s Satsuma and Green Tea & Lemon fragrance oils.

8. Favorite perfume for Spring? 

So many! I am partial to Chanel Chance Eau Fraîche and Gucci Tuberose. Coach’s sweet fragrances are ideal for Spring as well. For something less sweet, you might consider Bulgari’s Eau Perfumee Green Tea, a favorite of bottlingupsunshine.

9. What is Spring like where you live? 

Spring in NYC is a big sigh of relief but capricious. You can have sun, rain, clouds, and thunderstorms all in one week.

10. What’s your favorite thing about Spring? 

Knowing that I can run outside again soon.

11. Are you a Spring cleaner? 

Yes! I love ~~deleting~~ throwing away everything. A few weeks ago my friend Megan and I sold $150 worth of my clothes and shoes at Crossroads. It paid for new tattoos and closet space.

12. Any plans for Spring break or an upcoming vacation?

A trip to Brooklyn Botanic Gardens is in order. And probably Duane Reade for some Claritin.

TAG! I tag all of you. What are you loving this Spring? Blog, post a video, or tweet @etrethegirls with hashtag #springwins. ❀

"I want to empower women. I want people to be afraid of the women I dress."

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 02:58:00 -0400

“I want to empower women. I want people to be afraid of the women I dress.”

- Alexander McQueen

Ruby Wing Color Changing Nail Polish

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 00:30:00 -0400

BEAUTY | THE PRODUCT » By Jennie Wong » ★★★★☆ I’m a fan!

Who remembers the color changing markers we used when we were little? This solar activated nail polish by Ruby Wing is the next best thing.

Ruby Wing is a line launched for summertime by nail art maven Color Club. The polish changes color in the sun, creating two completely different looks for indoor and outdoor. There are tons of hues to choose from, with names like Festival and Birdie.

To apply, swipe on a base coat, 1-2 coats of the color, and a top coat. The formula is thicker than usual, so make sure to wipe excess off the brush and use clean strokes with even pressure. Watch the color change in the sun.

Ruby Wing in Poppy on my friend Dana

The next in nail trends? We’re hoping for mood-changing nail polish. ☼

RUBY WING, rubywing.com, sold online at select retailers

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong Dove Real Beauty...

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 22:14:00 -0400

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong

Dove Real Beauty reminds us that we are more than what we see. [For more discussion: x]

Clear Skin Care: Proactiv vs. Evologie

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 23:18:00 -0400

BEAUTY | THE PRODUCT » By Jennie Wong

My skin hasn’t liked New York City any more than I have. The air here is dirty, winter is tragic, and sleep is elusive. What to do? Find a skincare line with active ingredients up to the challenge.

I had moderately clear skin through high school and college, with frustrating regular monthly breakouts. I have combination skin, meaning dry face and oily T-zone. My skin also has some discoloration and lots of freckles. A far cry from airbrushed skin.

Over the years, I’ve tried a number of things including over the counter topicals (Clean & Clear, Neutrogena), prescribed topicals (Differin, Retin-A, Clindamyacin), homemade remedies (hot compress, toothpaste), and prescription drugs. Nothing was effective and the pills made me dizzy and nauseated, like I’d had too many cups of coffee. And I didn’t even see a change in my skin!

After this cocktail of treatments and pills, I decided to go au naturale for a bit and tried to rely purely on preventative care & naturally good things: healthy diet and exercise, sleep, and stress management.

Six months later…

Sad to say, it didn’t work. :( Oye vey!

I guess we all need a little help sometimes.

So, last month I invested in a few acne treatment lines to experiment. Who could save me?

First, I tried Proactiv. Yes, the hero of our high school years. It was $20 for the first system: a 3-step line of cleanser, toner, and treatment. The active ingredient in this line is benzoyl peroxide, the stronger sister to salicylic acid.

The product came in about 4 weeks and the website was wordy and difficult to navigate – big thumbs down. Apparently they try to suck you into this Proactiv cult where you design your own skincare regimen using their products. But it all revolves around this 3-step regimen of cleanser, toner, and treatment.

I tried Proactiv for about 2+ weeks with more pain than gain. The benzoyl peroxide dried out my cheeks instantly while doing little for my T-zone. I tried to be consistent with it, but after awhile I had to stop because my skin just looked and felt so beat up. I know it’s normal for your skin to freak out when you switch products, but I felt like I gave it enough time to do something for me and it didn’t. My blemishes didn’t go away, and my skin just felt increasingly dry.

Verdict: Proactiv★★☆☆☆ Eh. I’ve done better.

Proactiv has a great price tag and a cultish following and if it works for you, then I’m so happy/jealous. It worked for at least 3 of my friends and it’s only $20, so it’s worth a shot. However, for skin like mine it was incredibly drying. Also, I think the ticket in Proactiv is simply establishing that cleanse-tone-treat routine. If you didn’t already follow this basic skincare routine, then I can see how a Proactiv system would cause improvement.

After Proactiv, I decided to try something else, something gentler. I had sampled the Evologie serum via my Birchbox and noticed immediate effects on my blemishes. I took a dive into the deep end and purchased the whole system. My wallet cringed.

For $60, I received a kit of cleanser, serum, and cream. The serum was the only thing I had sampled, so the other two products were definitely a leap of faith.

The cleanser is a large bottle that will probably will last months and months. The serum and cream are much smaller, but I suppose it encourages sparing use, which is a good (in desperation, I overuse product).

Within a few days of switching to Evologie, I noticed a difference. My blemishes dried up and cleared away, scars healed and diminished in appearance, and my skin regained moisture and glow. The cleanser is gentle and washes clean, like Cetaphil. The serum is thin (as serums are), which is nicer than gel treatments or creams because it absorbs into the skin rather than sitting on top. This also looks better under makeup. Finally the cream is amazing. Lately my skin was stinging from any kind of cream or lotion (including my Kiehl’s) and even Aquaphor overnight did nothing. This cream is small but mighty. It applies smoothly and absorbs quickly, making a great night cream or lotion before makeup in the mornings. All three products in this kit are fragrance-free.

The active ingredient in Evologie is nothing new or fancy - salicylic acid - but somehow it works. The brand also boasts natural ingredients like willow bark extract, safflower seed oil, and tea tree leaf oil.

Verdict: Evologie★★★★☆ I’m a fan!

Evologie is expensive, but it worked with my skin rather than banishing all oil, etc. from it. It encourages my skin to retain moisture while effectively treating blemishes. Each of the products are gentle, high quality, and fragrance-free. If you don’t need the whole system, I recommend the serum alone for spot treatment ($35). Or the cream, if you have $62 to burn on 1.0 fl oz.

What do you use to take care of your acne-prone skin? Do you have tips or tricks or must-have products? Tweet @etrethegirls with hashtag #clearskin.

"Who, being loved, is poor?"

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 21:54:50 -0400

“Who, being loved, is poor?”

- Oscar Wilde

Letters of Note: Nothing Good Gets Away

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 23:27:00 -0400

LIFESTYLE | CULTURE » By Jennie Wong

On the topic of love, there is much to say. Here is my favorite letter from Letters of Note. John Steinbeck - the author of Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men - writes back to his eldest son Thom, who has fallen in love with a girl at boarding school.

New York
November 10, 1958

Dear Thom:

We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.

First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.

Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.

You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.

But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.

Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.

The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.

If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.

Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.

It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.

Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.

We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.

And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.

Love,

Fa

Photo courtesy of Letters of Note